Goodbye Family

Apart from the Old Inn crew, I had built a very strong relationship with the host family where I was living, especially with the mother of the house. She is a very beautiful woman inside and out, and rather than a mother she was more like a big, big sister, and she's just over 10 years my senior. She also has wonderful children too, Celia, Julia, Aman and Sunam. They all, apart from Celia who is studying at a university in Kathmandu, are at the local Private school, Notre Dame, run by 4 nuns, where English is spoken in all lessons apart from Nepali.

As for the father, Angela and I sadly never got to build much of a relationship with, for two reasons, one he spent most of his day working in the shop and second because he couldn’t speak English I think he was too shy to try and converse, and of course we couldn’t speak Nepali, so a relationship never really hit off, which was a shame.

But the mother, Rajani, Angela and mines sister, even though she can speak very little English, has such a warming, friendly and welcoming personality. She loves having volunteers around her, I think it really brings out her true personality when she's around the volunteers. I have noticed on many occasions, either when her husband is around or male Nepali’s are around including her father-in-law, who was a regular food visitor, she was a different person. She was very passive and subservient. Then as soon as they weren't around, she was her jovial playful character which was always the best part of her to see.

What was also amazing about her, as with many of the women in Nepal, is that they do so much of the physical work, both in and outside the home. These women are tough, no messing with them. While many of the men just sit outside in the bazaar doing bugger all, maybe serving a customer or two! Sorry, it just frustrated me a lot to see the men be so lazy and the women do all the hard work. I suppose some of you may say that it is like that in the West, just in a more subtle way, and I would agree with you.

I think my relationship grew stronger with the family once I ate their as well as lodged, that is after my volunteering had finished. Eating with the family was always a great experience, however, it was ever rarely with the dad, and many times not all the children at the same time. Also, one thing here in Nepal is that the women/mothers (have to) wait till everyone else has eaten, before they eat. But I would always love to be late and eat with Rajani, because then she became a lot less of a subservient character and I felt more relaxed.

In our last week we had some family photos taken, including ones with us in, which you can see above. That was great fun, thank you Angela for making them laugh, because Nepali photos are normally very serious occasions, so Angela rustled them up with some humour, which meant the resulting pictures were so much more alive.

The last day when Angela and I were leaving, Saturday 02nd Feb was a hard morning. One thing here in Nepal is that they never show their deepest emotions, similar to the UK (but different). It is still quite a reserved experience, unless you become real close. I never saw, even women crying, it just wasn't done. But the morning Angela and I left, I saw for the first time real emotion. You can see from the picture above, our last morning with Rajani, where she had given us the flower necklaces ‘Mala’, a prayer scarf and some other little things. And at that point everything was still ok. It was at the very last minute at the bottom of her stairs, not in a public place when Angela and I said our final goodbyes, Rajani had sincere tears and I could really sense she was trying so hard to hold them in, but the emotion was too strong and I could not help but also well up along with Angela, who would agree it was an emotional moment.

Though it meant so much that even within the strong cultural barriers, loving hearts can pierce through, and she showed both Angela and I a deep sense of meaning for her and the time we had spent with her and how special that moment will be with us forever!